High School.

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September 21st is my one year with my boyfriend. We argue a lot, never fight, just argue. Him and this one girl Jessica broke up June last year I think. The entire time we’ve been dating, they’ve been talking. I have tried to not seem like the overly obsessed girlfriend and make them stop since he claims he has no feelings for her. What I’ve always had to try the hardest to be calm with, is that he has made me delete and block and completely ignore any guy except him. While he’s texting and on the phone with his ex-girlfriend, calling her Jess, talking about old times, being best friends, I’m in my room bawling my eyes out because I know she misses him. I can’t tell if he feels the same. He finally got in his right mind to block her after I yelled at him because of how much it hurt. Not even 10 minutes after he blocks her on Facebook, she texts him about it. Facebook doesn’t tell you if someone blocks you. This means she’s been constantly creeping on his page. He ignored her text, telling me they’re done and he’s not going to talk to her anymore. Then, the next day comes, and of course, she texts him again. This time, furious. She’s mad that he cares about me more than he does talking to her. Of course he should!!!!! So she yells at him and cusses him out. I’m hoping she’s completely gone, but of course not. I see her everywhere; getting off the bus, getting on the bus, in the bathrooms, during lunch – we don’t even have the same lunch – walking through the halls, everywhere. I would just love for her to be gone. Everyone seems to hate my relationship and I have no idea why. Being a freshman in high school……sucks. Any advice?

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High School Horrors.

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Today is Friday. The first weekend of my freshman year. Everything is falling apart, yet nothing is at the same time. I haven’t spoken to my sister in over two months. My parents yell at me for no reason. I have piles and piles of homework. I feel so overwhelmed. Since the beginning of summer, I’ve lost 5-10 pounds. It may not seem like that much, but I’m only 14, 5’1, and now 95lbs. I’m underweight. I only  eat about 1 meals worth of food per day. I wish I could eat, but it hurts to eat…just as much as not eating hurts. I have three people. I have three loves. Dylon, my prince of a boyfriend. On September 21st, we will be celebrating our one year. He is the center of my attention, the source of my happiness. It may seem crazy, or even idiotic to hear a 14 year old saying this, but I truly couldn’t say it’s not true. Hannah. My kindergarten best friend. My freshman best friend. Many times we have grown apart, but we always rekindle our friendship…always close the distance between us. Cheyenne. We met in sixth grade, it was hard not to talk when we had 5 out of 7 classes together. We’ve become close and stayed close. We never really fade. She’s just always there. So are the other two. What’s the best about the four of us is that we all accept each other. The girls approve of my boyfriend and vise versa. Two blonde besties and a brunette boyfriend to match the brown haired, brown eyed girl with a trouble life. Cheers to our group ❤

True Friends? Where?

So the girl I was supposed to throw a surprise party for last weekend, is a little lying, no good……person. She lied to me and told me she was busy on Saturday, but the day before I had gotten in contact with her mom and asked her. We’ll just call the girl Susan. Susan had sat at home all day and watched movies. So I had asked her if she could come over on Sunday and she said she’d ask her mom. Susan didn’t do a thing. It turns out that on Sunday, my old best friend, Chelsea hung out with her the entire day and slept over. I guess this year I won’t try talking to her like I originally planned. I don’t know and I don’t really care if I’m over reacting…I’m just pissed.

Talk About Awkward

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So, in second grade I met this girl named Chelsea. We were closer than you could imagine 8 year old girls being. We had sleepovers every weekend, we gossiped about boys, I even helped her get her first boyfriend in SECOND GRADE, insanity. That’s just how close we were. Despite the fact that personality wise, we were polar opposites, we loved each other in the way only young girls can. In December of sixth grade, she told me that I was too mean of a person and that she wasn’t going to be my friend, or talk to me anymore. I was heartbroken and crying when she had TEXTED me telling me all this. We spent the last half of sixth grade and the full seventh and eighth grade years avoiding each other at all costs. Now halfway through the summer before ninth grade, I have to speak to her. My friend its moving 800 miles away so I’m going to throw her a surprise goodbye party. Of course, I can’t control who she’s friends with. She’s friends with Chelsea. So, in an attempt to make this the best party for my friend…I invited her. Now were texting like old times when we would plan our sleepovers. I have so many mixed feelings right now. The thing that’s getting into my head the most, is that she knew who texted her. She never deleted my number, I never deleted hers. Have we been avoiding each other these last few years….For no reason?

The Basics

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My parents got divorced when I was two, at least that’s what I’m told. After the divorce, Mom once tried to take me from Dad’s house. The police had got involved and they went into court. Since then, Mom has had custody of my 17 year old sister and I on weekends, Dad had the weekdays. Mom started dating again. She had another baby, Joehanna, who we call Hanna. She never married the guy, less than a year after the baby was born they broke up. I remember him stalking Mom for a while… He has always scared me. I think quite a while after this happened, Mom and Dad dated for a little, but once again, it didn’t work. A few years back, I remember dad telling my older sister that mom kept asking him to get remarried, he would say no. Mom acts like everything is fine between her and Dad. However, she sleeps on the couch and has no way to get into our house. (I live with Dad) Mom has her own house that she does use, I think she might rent it out. Her house is used when nobody is at Dad’s house to let her in, when she comes home too late from going to bingo or Biloxi, or when her and Dad fight. Mother is the most bipolar and confusing woman I know. She’s been a cook at the same place for about 8 years. Father retired from the air force and is a very well known person…on our air force base. Dad makes enough money that we can live in a decent house and have 80% of the things my sister and I want. Mom and Dad’s relationship is very odd. Sometimes, they will sleep in the same bed. They’ll kiss on the lips and occasionally (Valentines Day) they’ll go out to dinner and a movie. Many people are led to believe my parents aren’t divorced because of this. Dad pays for EVERYTHING. If Mom and I go shopping, she’ll be like “Oh, you can come back here with dad tomorrow so he can buy you what you want.” This bothers me. She bothers me. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to call Mom and Dad’s relationship.

What Is All This

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I’ve grown tired of my constant wandering around the house searching for something to do. I’ve decided to take up blogging. I’m the typical teen. I am one of five kids. All the ages, however, are quite separated, 25, 22, 17, 14, 9. The two oldest have the same dad. Third and Fourth have the same dad. The poor little young one has her own father. I literally have sisters from other misters. My divorced parents live in the same house with two of my sisters and I. Let us just say that I am definitely not the favored child. I’m known as the “troubled child,” yet, I do absolutely nothing all day, everyday.